On Campus After Grueling Two Months, Intern Ready for Management Position by Andre Adams August 2, 2016November 6, 2021 "My real skills lie in delegation."…
World MTA to Host Hot Yoga in Unairconditioned Subway Cars by Akoš Pensov August 2, 2016November 6, 2021 Everybody loves showing up to work after completely sweating out their harmful toxins.…
World Breaking: Bernie Eats Bagged Dinner at Convention to Cut Costs by Hailey Riechelson July 29, 2016November 13, 2021 "Nine dollars for a hot dog? What am I, the one percent?"…
World RNC Erupts In Agreement As Pence Delivers Monosyllabic Grunt by Iqraz Nanji July 21, 2016November 6, 2021 It was widely hailed as one of the most heartfelt moments of the convention thus far.…
World Wardrobe Malfunction Exposes Ted Cruz’s Bare Face on National Television, Shocking Millions by Max Rosenberg July 20, 2016November 6, 2021 No one was prepared for the full-frontal shot.…
World Desperate Bill Clinton Hunts In Vain for a First Husband Speech to Plagiarize by Anonymous July 19, 2016November 6, 2021 With no copy/paste option at his disposal, Clinton worries he'll have to draw from his own experiences.…
World Boris Johnson Begins Brexit Negotiations With Rambling List of Pubs He’s Hooked Up In by Ben Greenspan July 17, 2016November 6, 2021 He drives a hard bargain.…
World Breaking: Trump Names Shapeless Pile of White Flesh with Penis as VP by Andre Adams July 15, 2016November 6, 2021 "You can't honestly expected me to distinguish Chris Christie from any other blob of pink penisey meat."…
World David Cameron Pilfers Little Bottle of Shampoo Before Checking Out of 10 Downing Street by Max Rosenberg July 14, 2016November 6, 2021 Eyewitnesses claim that Cameron also stopped by the kitchen to swipe several croissants "for the road."…
On Campus Lured by a Pikachu, CC Rising Senior Travels Below 110th Street for First Time by Anonymous July 12, 2016November 6, 2021 She kept the MetroCard as a souvenir.…
World Bernie Sanders Receives Consolation Fruit Basket by Hailey Riechelson July 10, 2016November 6, 2021 "I will not stop fighting until honeydew achieves equality in this country."…
World Meteorologists: Night Sky Will Be Star-Spangled For Independence Day by Dylan Sachs July 4, 2016November 6, 2021 A heartwarming tribute.…
