On Campus Frat Boys (and Crew Team) Round Up Stray Neighborhood Felines by Anonymous October 31, 2016November 6, 2021 “The only way to lure the cats was to offer them what they sought: easy and average-looking guys,” Animal Control said.…
World Elders of Zion Announce New Youngsters of Zion Sleepaway Camp in New Hampshire by Ben Greenspan October 31, 2016November 6, 2021 “Let’s just say I have a feeling we’ll be getting an awful lot of press,” spokesman Moshe Feinberg said with a wink.…
On Campus Slut Speaks Out: My Culture is Not a Costume by Dallas Koelling October 30, 2016November 6, 2021 "These Halloween costumes ignore the things deeper than our skin, like high levels of thirst and lower-than-average standards."…
On Campus Lee Bollinger: If I’m Going to Donate My Organs, They Better Go to Someone Hot by Anonymous October 30, 2016November 6, 2021 "I can’t imagine that anyone reasonable would think that it’d be acceptable for my organs to help some Six."…
On Campus News Brief: GS Dean Awn Steps Down, Announces Plan to Enroll in GS by Thomas Germain October 26, 2016November 6, 2021 The change will afford him the opportunity to enroll in GS full-time.…
On Campus Spectator To Begin Recycling Used Columnists by Max Rosenberg October 25, 2016November 6, 2021 “We’ve just been tossing them in the dumpster on 111th.”…
On Campus Professor Thinks It Would Be Pretty Neat to Add a GIF to His Lecture Notes by Hayley Tillett October 24, 2016November 6, 2021 He has yet to figure out how to resize the GIF without decreasing the resolution to 200 pixels.…
On Campus Sophomore Becomes Cultured After Study Abroad in Toronto by Michelle Dandeneau October 23, 2016November 6, 2021 “Once you’ve seen the world, you can’t stay in one place for long.”…
On Campus Ferris Pasta Station Announces Fluid Identity by Anonymous October 23, 2016November 6, 2021 "A lot of people might not understand the my transition."…
On Campus Trump Struggling to Make Friends at Debate Camp by Emmett Werbel October 19, 2016November 6, 2021 Despite the imminence of the final debate, Trump was reportedly grumbling in the car the whole way, throwing his fists and kicking the seat in front of him.…
On Campus Lit Hum Student Coughs for 17th Time In Class by Luis Vera October 18, 2016November 6, 2021 "The effort is honestly impressive."…
On Campus English Major Feigns Stress to Fit in with Peers During Midterms by Ani Wilcenski October 16, 2016November 6, 2021 "You can imagine how left out I feel."…
