World JK Rowling: “Everyone in the Harry Potter Series is Actually Transgender” by Michelle Dandeneau January 24, 2017November 6, 2021 Even Neville's toad.…
World ISIS Dentist Declares Jihad on Tooth Decay by Isaiah Bennett January 23, 2017November 6, 2021 Captives have been forced to declare their devotion to a handy tooth hygiene guide.…
World God: Noah’s Ark Requirements Are Too Binary by Ani Wilcenski January 22, 2017November 6, 2021 "My views are evolving to reflect the changing needs and perspectives of my diverse constituents," the Lord writes in a heartfelt op-ed.…
On Campus Breaking: Some Kind of Shit Going Down On Low Steps by Dallas Koelling January 19, 2017November 6, 2021 Additional reports will not be given as this story develops, because not one person cares.…
On Campus Op-Ed: College Is Hard, So My Abs Are Not by Anonymous January 18, 2017November 6, 2021 "I used to do a ten second plank every morning, but I had to cut that in half so I could have enough time to sleep."…
World Op-Ed: Porn Cameramen Need to Shut the Hell Up by Anonymous January 17, 2017November 6, 2021 "This is a beautiful connection between a man, a man, a man, another man, a woman, and me, and you need to get the fuck out."…
On Campus Columbia Vows to Switch to Cage-Free Adjuncts by Max Rosenberg January 17, 2017November 6, 2021 Columbia’s free-range adjuncts will be ethically sourced from a farm upstate.…
On Campus Student Wishes Parents Would be More Open Minded About his GPA by Philip Maehr December 30, 2016November 6, 2021 They insist that "he could do better" than his ugly GPA.…
On Campus Merry Christmas from the Federalist! by Natalie Arenzon December 24, 2016November 6, 2021 Merry Christmas!…
World God to Deceased at Pearly Gates: “Who Do You Know Here?” by Greg Humphries December 21, 2016November 6, 2021 "Apparently, you can only get in if you bring two girls with you.”…
On Campus Columbia School of Journalism Converts Entire Curriculum to Internet Slideshow – You Won’t Believe What Happened Next! by Isaiah Bennett December 20, 2016November 6, 2021 “We’ve made a 10-part slideshow to explain the school’s decision, and it will BLOW. YOUR. MIND.”…
On Campus Fun and Games by The Feditorial Board December 20, 2016November 6, 2021 Looking for a way to procrastinate?…
