“I’ve done a lot of research and all the movies show that fat shaming is the most effective way to make those little bastards lose a few pounds.”…
"Needless to say, somebody’s getting an A in participation.”…
"According to authorities, Crowthers timed her exit of the gym perfectly with the early rush of students harmlessly making their way to 8:40 classes across campus."…
"We've got to get him out of there."…
“Why would you wake up on a Saturday to go look at some big-ass dinosaur?"…
"Finally, I will be able to experience the sensation I’ve so far only been able to shabbily imitate with an Oculus Rift and six inches of metal piping."…
"He’s deep, he’s sensitive, he’s intellectual, and he’s the only person on this campus who TRULY appreciates the Smiths.”…
"It’s typically expected that those of a more conservative persuasion will look towards some one-room schoolhouse on the prairie, like Dartmouth.”…
"Foolishly, Paul spent the entire interaction hoping that you would eventually answer his 'How are you doing today?'"…
"I pray that my other students will follow Ronald’s example and one day fulfill the classes’ minimum requirement themselves.”…
“It’s important to understand the foundations of our culture, but it’s more important to understand the foundations of the culture that is about to dominate ours.”…
"Take a little bird bath with her? Don’t mind if I do.”…
