"All this time I was talking about rabbis, but he was thinking about priests?”…

"I’ve always been torn between my love of Gertrude Stein and weirdly shaped plants. But now I don’t have to be.”…

"There were at least 90 virgins in that room, so I do feel like I got some decent value.”…

"I’ve never introduced myself without explicitly mentioning it: 'He/Him/His, Columbia College, Burbank, California.'"…

"This way, students can rest assured that even if that misdiagnosed strep throat becomes fatal, their souls will be preserved in eternal light."…

"You should see those emaciated Slavic studies fuckers on Floor Seven.”…

"Because while ole Jeffy-Jeff did some pretty bad things, if we focus just on those we lose the big picture - a vibrant canvas which clearly shows that as a society, we…

"The two girls, who refer to themselves collectively as '704,' their room number, have begun the semester with conflicting class schedules."…

"Modality modality modality modality modality modality modality modality modality modality..."…