A new USNews report released on Sunday revealed Columbia’s rise in USNews’ specialized rankings, reportedly due to recent data releases regarding the employment statuses of past university presidents. Over the last three…
A staggering new study has confirmed a long-standing concern in the Columbia community—one of these dorky little assholes is, indeed, the next Barack Obama. Columbia’s proud history of accomplished and influential alumni…
The Atlantic recently published an article titled “The Elite College Students Who Can’t Read Books,” discussing a trend of disinterest in class content by students at Columbia and other competitive schools. Their…
Well, that was fast. Columbia’s interim president, Katrina Armstrong, has resigned after barely more than a month on the job. An independent review of communications to the student body from Columbia administrators…
Despite promising a warm welcome for new transfer students to Barnard College’s tight-knit community, Residential Life & Housing rejected and waitlisted nearly all housing applications from transfers. By August, only 30 out…
The Hudson River: home to fish, party cruises, sewage, chemical contamination, and, now, the Columbia College swim test. In a recent change by Columbia administrators, students graduating in 2028 and later will…
Oh Woozoo, Your blessed blades breathe air within my Brooks dorm room Your swiveling head surveys atop the shoebox, sustaining a subtle breeze that whispers a coo I know it is not…
Oh, you were at Brooklyn Mirage (pre-serial killer, obvs) bouncing around in a white tank with no bra on? That’s cool. I was trying to catch the B up to Times Square/42nd…
Twenty-five years after the last major update of SSOL in 2001 following the .com bubble burst and the concurrent cheapening of software engineer labor, the Registrar’s Office has announced plans to reformat…
Wondering where you’re going to spend those 50 blissful minutes of venting, sweating, shivering, and giggling you enjoy each week in therapy? Don’t worry, research shows that these 3 spots on campus…
“Another boring day in the kitchen,” Chef Don mumbled to himself as he opened the door to the dining hall. Life is so mundane these days, he thought, and he began to…
It was 6:30 p.m. The air was hot, damp, and buzzing with mosquitoes. I had just clocked out of my summer job as a cart girl at a neighborhood golf course. My…
