Hell will now be relocated to an area just west of Heaven, and will still be kinda shitty, but in a trendy way, and with the option for Holy Gentrification by next…
Santa managed to eject before the collision; however, Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer along with his other fellow reindeer were killed. #RIPtheReindeer has been trending on Twitter, while clowns all over the…
The dichotomy of this masterpiece is that it panders to a liberal audience through its name whilst simultaneously subverting the ridiculous standard to which the white male is held in society.…
Craig Reede, the President of WADA, said that, “Russia was afforded every opportunity to pump their cyclists with testosterone and ketamine, but the results have not been satisfactory.”…
What Musk is saying is that these windows can only be broken by a small metal ball. They can endure “wrenches” and the “kitchen sink,” even the slug that vaporized JFK’s head!…
When asked if the group members had any concerns about the carbon footprint of an animal-based meal, they all responded “carbon schmarbon” in perfect unison…
The subjects were seen frantically pantomiming, soliloquizing, and talking to a skull in the vicinity of Miller Theatre. There is one casualty confirmed at this time.…
President Bollinger has also ordered a pair of headphones for every member of the Columbia administration, so that they will be safeguarded from “noisy distractions. . . like that pesky graduate student…
The Dean of Undergraduate Admissions, Jessica Marinaccio, stated to The Federalist that all of the applications were submitted to the General Studies school with the heading, “LET ME IN CUZ I FUCKING…
