Like clockwork, Columbia’s class registration system has shut down as students try to select their classes for the Spring semester. An anonymous employee of the Registrar’s Office told The Federalist that the…
President-elect Donald Trump recently nominated U.S. Representative Matt Gaetz to be the next Attorney General in his cabinet. Gaetz was thrilled by the nod from Trump and is already making a list…
There’s nothing quite like the rush of walking past a group of hopeful students and jealous parents, knowing I’m better than them because I go here and they don’t. I’m addicted to…
Columbia University Facilities announced this morning that the Butler Library stacks will be open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, in order to facilitate the production of more legacy students.…
In preparation for Homecoming, Columbia University’s Board of Trustees have announced their plans to retire Roar-ee and replace him with a new, very chill mascot. This decision comes after controversy over the…
While White House staff has been dreading the return of President-elect Donald Trump, they acknowledge that they are better equipped to handle his needs this time around. In preparation for Trump’s second…
The quiet comfort of a fireplace, the nostalgic joy of making smores, the primal warmth of sitting around a campfire—we all know the feeling. With the overwhelming atmosphere of post-election grief and…
Oh, I get it now. So when the university displaces local businesses and homes to expand our educational capabilities, and I suppose our modest real estate portfolio, it’s worth years of protests…
In his last press conference as the sitting President of the United States, President Biden announced that he had finalized a deal with the fitness company SoulCycle to join the team as…
On Sunday, former President Donald Trump announced that he was dropping out of the upcoming presidential election. Instead, Trump will be switching races to run for the seat of NYC mayor in…
On Saturday, numerous Columbia twinks gave reports that they saw Senator JD Vance dancing alone at Hardware, a famous Hell’s Kitchen queer bar. According to one particularly disgusted bar patron, Vance was…
Columbia Federalist reporters were lucky to catch Ohio-native, congressman, and vice-president-hopeful J.D. Vance on his way home from the furniture store and asked him a few questions in advance of the general…
