In response to the December 5th, 2025 trespass on Barnard’s 616 residence hall, the CARES Community Safety team appointed a new Security Chief Alpha, 6’3 former-CEO Hugh G. Thruster. Recent survey reports…
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In the wake of myriad changes to the government and general functioning…
Following his unprecedented loss in the New York City mayoral election, Republican…
Can’t bear the lunchtime chaos? Skip the line and buy a table…
Amidst all the ghouls, goblins, ghosts, and platform shoe-d frankensteins, exists your platform Doc Marten wearing girlfriend “Twas the night before Halloweekend, and all through campus, Not a creature was stirring, not…
It’s Halloween season and campus is as scary as ever. From the devilish decorations in our dining halls to vague attempts by RAs to be “festive,” the spooky feeling is spreading. Yet…
Come here child, what did you bring me? Oh, some delicious apples, how lovely. You’re so nice to your grandma, sweetheart. I’m so lucky to eat you—I mean have you. What big…
Following a lecture on invasive species in EESC BC1001 (Intro to Environmental Science), a first-year Barnard student challenged herself to #SaveTheTrees and kill as many spotted lanternflies as humanly possible. The bugs…
i don’t have much time so listen quick i wanted to get into a section of UN1400 so bad i was desperate so i hired a hitman to kill all of the…
You’ve heard all the rumors about how freshman orientation friend groups never stay together, but now that NSOP is over and you’ve created lifelong bonds with so many people over 2:00 AM…
DODGE HALL — This morning, President McBain Shafted announced the construction of a second gym for Columbia students to use. “We’re naming it Dodge,” she stated. “Yeah, we already have a gym…
Hi Columbia. It’s me again. I know you’ve heard my very loud and very public pleas over the last three expensive years that I’ve spent at your institution. You might’ve thought I…
My sister is super hot.…
A classroom of environmental science and engineering majors was befuddled recently by the strange enthusiasm of Professor Matthew Nguyen as he explained the effects of ocean acidification on the ocean’s role as…
Hey Laura, Thanks for coming to Barnard. I’m sure you’ve been given a bunch of campus tours, but quite honestly—there’s more to Barnard outside of our four block campus. Here’s some spots…
Die-hard Core Curriculum fans rejoice! The Center for the Core Curriculum is pleased to announce its newest addition to the Columbia Core Curriculum: “Masterpieces of Personal Hygiene,” otherwise referred to as “Stank…
