I just love wearing Columbia merch. The moment that Champion-branded fabric touches my skin? Immediate chills. My chest swells with pride. My chin lifts. My mouth tugs back into a smug smile.…
In my first semester at Columbia University, one aspect of college life that struck me by surprise was just how expensive New York City really is. I ran through virtually all of…
Forget Jane Street—the most in-demand summer internship this year is at the food truck at 116th and Broadway. Summer applications for the coveted Hooda Halal internship program opened this fall, and interested…
O great John Jay pasta bar Your fixins’ make me weep, Creamy cheese sauce Marinara too My favorite post-class treat! Sequestered in my corner chair Back hunched over my plate. When I…
Kiss right here ________ and hold on to this issue of The Fed to AFFIRM this message. The universe has something in store for you. They are thinking about how to text…
Ever been polishing your pearl and thought, You know what would make this better? A little Ivy League spirit. Or maybe you’re rendezvousing with that special someone and suddenly wonder, Would my…
Fearing an imminent change in employment, Mayor Eric Adams was recently seen editing his application to the School of General Studies, unsure if his knowledge of the Turkish language will help or…
An investigation by your loyal Federalists has revealed a harrowing truth: the beloved books lining the walls of your favorite reading room in Butler are fakes! A tip was called in by…
Ahead of President-re-elect Donald Trump’s inauguration, businesses are making big changes to their environmental messaging, adapting to dire projections of climate change. Everyone’s favorite childhood restaurant, the Rainforest Cafe, has announced that…
As of 1:47 AM, The Federalist can officially confirm that your roommate has officially thrown his hat into the ring and is currently running for CC 2026 class representative. In a stunning…
2. “heyy could I see your answers for the french hw” 3. “What’s your uni?” 4. “Anyone want to meet up this weekend to study?” If you answered mostly A’s, you are…
To the girl who sits in front of me in my Intro to Art History lecture, I am so grateful that you still think that if the brightness on your laptop is…
