Every parent dreams of their child going to an amazing college… unless that child gets there and decides to major in the humanities, it seems! Sorry, Mom—if, instead of letting me read…
Good news, Columbia! The university has released new event policies that will strengthen our ability to make our voices heard and contribute to ongoing political conversations and in return, all they are…
Attention! The Fed is rebranding. After decades of faithfully serving the Columbia community in our current form, we have decided to shift gears. However, we are still unsure what exactly the new…
Last Saturday, students walking around campus reported observing several intriguing occurrences involving an inexplicable horde of little kids, nannies, and a random food truck near the sundial. Samantha Liu (CC ‘25) provided…
Last Sunday at 11:59 pm, Cafe East employee Earl Yearling returned from his smoke break to check on his latest batch of boba when he spotted two men deconstructing the on-campus café’s…
Dear Fed, Every year when winter break rolls around, I always get excited that the best time of year has finally arrived: writing CULPA reviews. After all the suffering I’ve gone through…
On Monday, Columbia Dining, in partnership with the Columbia College and Columbia Engineering office for Multicultural Affairs, announced that Café East will be transformed into an Erewhon come Spring 2025. “At Columbia,…
As temperatures dropped into the 30°F on Wednesday, the Penis Fountains of Low Steps were reported defending their smaller appendage size under the common wives tales of “being cold.” Scientists and university…
Cock-a-doodle-doo! As we’re in the new semester, one can’t help but think of rebirth, new beginnings, and the non-powdered scrambled eggs your mom is gonna cook for you when you finally go…
International students, who once claimed that they felt intimidated by the cruel New York winter, report feeling adequately prepared to face the freezing cold thanks to the Butler Library entrance wind. The…
It’s rush – sorry, recruitment – weekend at Columbia University, and the mice are out to play (freezing in their mini white dresses and open-toed heels on college walk, of course). We…
Butler Library staff recently switched file-organizing systems and discovered that the average book in the library is not as old as your mom. The Federalist spoke with the head of the project,…
