Columbia’s Only Newspaper That Stole Your Airpods

Volume XXXIX • Issue 1 • October 2021

From the issue:

  • Report: Post-Election Vibes Probably Way Better Back Home

  • Lerner Ramps Transformed into Giant Winter Wonderland Toboggan Slide 

  • What To Do the Night Before Your First Final but Your Zodiac Is Saying “You Can’t Force Yourself To Create When You’re Burnt Out”

  • Heartwarming: Barnard Receives Donation of 50 Cents and Half-Eaten Hot Dog

  • 10 Best Ways to Use a Study Room

  • Penn Celebrates First Cool Alum Since Noam Chomsky

  • What’s in My Bag ft. Barnard Campus Security

  • A 10-song Post-Election Playlist for Kamala Harris

  • Butler Cough, a Haiku

  • The Fed’s Advice Corner: Ask a Child Prodigy!

  • BARNARD TO DROP NEW MERCH AHEAD OF INAUGURATION

  • Columbia Football Team’s  Poor Performance Causes Roar-ee The Lion to Retire Early to Palm Beach

  • Fed Reincorporates Into Pennsylvania, Aims to Commit Late-Term Voter Fraud

  • OP-ED: Now that Jaywalking is Legal in New York City, I Don’t Want to Do it Anymore

  • Mayor Eric Adams claims he could’ve beaten Donald Trump: “It takes a criminal to beat a criminal.”

  • Koronet’s Komforter: My Dorm Hasn’t Turned the Heat On So I’m Using a Jumbo Cheese Slice to Stay Warm

  • Little France Now Requires Valid Passport to Enter

  • Startling New Study Finds Dining Hall Eggs Contain Trace Amounts of Egg

  • Armstrong Look-Alike Competition Winner Decided

  • Columbia Dining Really Hoping Food Inspection Grade is Curved