The role of acting president is the highest acting position at Columbia and an essential part of our university ecosystem. But for too long it’s been reserved for only the most privileged…
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On Tuesday, seemingly in response to the breaking news of Columbia’s neglect…
It’s no secret that national security advisor Mike Waltz is in trouble…
After taking Ballet I at Barnard last semester, President Rosenbury has reportedly…
President Katrina Armstrong has declared that The Art of the Deal by Donald Trump will be added as required reading in all CC classes beginning next semester. “I know some community members…
For those of you now tuning in, a Category 5 hurricane has leveled Columbia University.…
Now, I’m reasonable with money. I’ve never placed a bet in my life. I’m a lady, for god’s sake. I’m a financially mature person. If someone offered me a dollar, I’d take…
Amid nationwide cuts to DEI programs, including Columbia’s stealthy removal of DEI language from various college websites, the University has announced that they will be removing the iconic statue of Alma Mater…
Dear Fed, All my friends are going to Punta Cana for Spring Break this year, and I’m supposed to go with them, but I’m starting to feel weird about it. We were…
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! At 8 AM, you wake up in your cramped Carman Hall dorm and pull your hair into a messy bun. You slip on an oversized hoodie, ripped jeans, and…
After the announcement that the Trump administration would be cutting $400 million in funding to Columbia University last week, President Armstrong announced that she was “deeply committed to ensuring that we find…
In a highly-anticipated announcement, Columbia University administrators have announced that The Police will be performing at Bacchanal this year. “We want Bacchanal to reflect the state of campus, and who better than…
After recent reports of activists engaging in sit-ins, an alleged bomb threat, and $400 million dollars of federal contracts and grants being frozen by the Department of Justice (DOJ), Department of Health…
Shortly after Pro-Palestinian protestors occupied Milstein Library, the entire building was evacuated due to an alleged “bomb threat.” Many have been looking dubiously upon the nature of this threat, which some believe…
A new study from Reuters finds, in a shocking reversal of conventional major wisdom, all undergraduate students from Columbia University are now equally unemployable. In the wake of over $400 million in…
Completely lost in LitHum? Fret not with this handy-dandy guide to your favorite Lit Hum books with terms from the internet’s horniest little book nerds. The Exaltation of Inanna: female rage, revenge…
