In preparation for Homecoming, Columbia University’s Board of Trustees have announced their plans to retire Roar-ee and replace him with a new, very chill mascot. This decision comes after controversy over the…
So, the Yankees lost the World Series. You spent all that time learning player names so you could pretend to be a fan when they won, but then the Yankees lost. But…
Hey you! Sick of being just another one of those lanky dweebs who blends into the background of every Halloweekend party? Every second wasted on school work or self care is a…
As the Columbia Women’s Basketball team advances for the first time in program history to the Women’s NCAA Tournament, The Columbia Federalist has commenced an observational study of the student population. Our…
BREAKING: To boost campus morale, President Minouche Shafik announced that she is bringing back former President Bollinger’s esteemed “Fun Run 5k Run/Walk” on Monday. The event will offer Shaf-food (mini pretzel bags…
After seeing the enormous crowds of students eager to join the Silent Disco event on Low Steps earlier this semester, the Columbia Football team has boldly proclaimed that their last game was…
It’s that time of year again. The leaves are falling, the air is crisp, and the Fed is here to bring you your much needed Homecoming survival tips. Football season is upon…
BAKER ATHLETICS COMPLEX—After reviewing the latest assessment by the University’s COVID-19 Task Force on the risk of coronavirus spread, Columbia Athletics has announced an end to the ban on fans at home…
Columbia has announced that Jen Smith, a student’s friend’s cousin’s barber’s niece, will be competing in the 2022 Winter Olympics as an alternate for the fiftieth alternate on the US Men’s Ice…
In a recent university-wide email, Provost Mary C. Boyce admitted to some misconceptions she held about the recently ended labor strike, saying that she thought the phrase ‘Columbia Strikers’ referred to “perhaps…
