Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s presidential campaign may have officially ended, with the candidate even endorsing Donald Trump, but for some, RFK Jr. is still the man to beat. Today, we sat down…
PSA TO CURRENT COLUMBIA STUDENTS: As tensions on campus heighten and the administration furthers their crackdown on student groups, guests on campus, and security protocols, it’s essential that you, as a student,…
Shrubland speaks out! In an exclusive interview with The Federalist, Chaparral Biome – known for her hot, dry summers and cool, wet winters – has distanced herself from fellow celebrity Chappell Roan.…
According to newly released data from the Pew Research Center, 99% of undecided voters who haven’t yet filled out their mail-in ballots for the 2024 Presidential Election “just can’t seem to find…
I finally did it. I stuck it in for the first time. And by it, I mean my absentee ballot–I stuck it into the mailbox. (Get your head out of the gutter,…
A staggering new study has confirmed a long-standing concern in the Columbia community—one of these dorky little assholes is, indeed, the next Barack Obama. Columbia’s proud history of accomplished and influential alumni…
Shortly after the Fed famously broke the news of now-ex-President Minouche Shafik’s resignation, Dr. Katrina Armstrong of the Vagelos Medical School was announced as the new President of Columbia University. Now, newly-leaked…
Justice Gorsuch. Neil. Nelly. Dad. There is no easy way for me to put this, so I’m just going to come right out and say it. You have a son. It wasn’t…
Colin, a first-year PoliSci student from Ohio, called his mom to tell her he finally got invited to his first college party! He didn’t even get to the Carman floor nine lounge…
We at The Federalist are proud to announce our first-of-its-kind, exclusive interview with a transgender extraterrestrial from the ❆❅❄ star system.“⟟ ⏃⋔ ⏃ ⏁⍀⏃⋏⌇☌⟒⋏⎅⟒,” it said, admiring the penis fountain near Low.…
