There’s nothing quite like the rush of walking past a group of hopeful students and jealous parents, knowing I’m better than them because I go here and they don’t. I’m addicted to…
Columbia University Facilities announced this morning that the Butler Library stacks will be open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, in order to facilitate the production of more legacy students.…
In preparation for Homecoming, Columbia University’s Board of Trustees have announced their plans to retire Roar-ee and replace him with a new, very chill mascot. This decision comes after controversy over the…
Oh, I get it now. So when the university displaces local businesses and homes to expand our educational capabilities, and I suppose our modest real estate portfolio, it’s worth years of protests…
President Armstrong has reportedly been what many call “a little too excited” about the Minouche Shafik Halloween costume she recently put together at Party City. Many of her known associates have reported…
Due to limited seating in the Barnard dining hall, Hewitt, as well as an overwhelming number of complaints by frustrated Barnard Students, steps are being taken to limit the number of Columbia…
The world is a wretched and godforsaken place that will take away anything you hold near and dear to your heart in an instant. An orange slip of paper taped onto my…
What can I say? She’s your favorite mentally-ill bitch’s favorite mentally-ill bitch, and I can’t help but stan her for it. Sorry if women having boundaries makes you feel emasculated or cheated…
Last Monday, Physics Professor Brian Greene declared the Schermerhorn Extension a new scientific breakthrough for studying the theory of both special and general relativity. While previous studies have shown that mass is…
That shadowy oubliette you see skulking the hallways of Butler 8? The one you see out of the corner of your sleep-deprived eye when you’re cranking out that senior thesis? Turns out…
