You would think it wouldn’t matter anymore…it’s been a month! That no one remembers you, sitting alone in your room on September 17th at 8 pm sharp, waiting for an aca-knock that…
The world is a wretched and godforsaken place that will take away anything you hold near and dear to your heart in an instant. An orange slip of paper taped onto my…
What can I say? She’s your favorite mentally-ill bitch’s favorite mentally-ill bitch, and I can’t help but stan her for it. Sorry if women having boundaries makes you feel emasculated or cheated…
Last Monday, Physics Professor Brian Greene declared the Schermerhorn Extension a new scientific breakthrough for studying the theory of both special and general relativity. While previous studies have shown that mass is…
Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s presidential campaign may have officially ended, with the candidate even endorsing Donald Trump, but for some, RFK Jr. is still the man to beat. Today, we sat down…
That shadowy oubliette you see skulking the hallways of Butler 8? The one you see out of the corner of your sleep-deprived eye when you’re cranking out that senior thesis? Turns out…
As thousands of wide-eyed freshmen join our Columbia community each fall, many undergo the rigorous process of trying to join various student groups that, unlike the Columbia Federalist, require an application. But…
An increasing number of Bold, Beautiful, Bugs have been crawling on Barnard’s campus and residential halls, with Sidechat and your local suite group chat blowing up after each spotting. As always, the…
Salad in hand Walked by the fan Wind in my hair Then came a scare Lettuce leaves flew Carrot strips too Thrown across floor Salad no more …
With Halloween right around the corner, it is only appropriate that I share a spooky story that rattled me to the bone. It all began one fateful Monday evening. I had gone…
