"Program participants will receive an engraved Brown University bong, readily available for purchase at the university bookstore for $39.95."…
"I always just assumed I would work at Morgan Stanley, but recently I’ve been dreaming about McKinsey.”…
“Let’s not mince words: the students at this school are fugly."…
“If Mother Teresa can be a saint, so can this sandwich."…
Activism by any means possible.…
"If anything, data suggests that these little fuckers are actually getting dumber with every passing year.”…
"Sorry to disappoint, Mom, but I’m not just some fucking sell-out conformist like you!"…
"Remember the fallen comrades in classes with an undergraduate-determined curve."…
Moving one’s bowels is like real estate—it’s all about location, location, location!…
"There are still some holdouts who experience brief moments of fleeting happiness."…
