In his last press conference as the sitting President of the United States, President Biden announced that he had finalized a deal with the fitness company SoulCycle to join the team as…
On Sunday, former President Donald Trump announced that he was dropping out of the upcoming presidential election. Instead, Trump will be switching races to run for the seat of NYC mayor in…
On Saturday, numerous Columbia twinks gave reports that they saw Senator JD Vance dancing alone at Hardware, a famous Hell’s Kitchen queer bar. According to one particularly disgusted bar patron, Vance was…
Columbia Federalist reporters were lucky to catch Ohio-native, congressman, and vice-president-hopeful J.D. Vance on his way home from the furniture store and asked him a few questions in advance of the general…
So, the Yankees lost the World Series. You spent all that time learning player names so you could pretend to be a fan when they won, but then the Yankees lost. But…
It’s that time of year again… your Butler crush has seen you in full cruddy midterms glory, that one JJs guy knows you by name, and your fall wardrobe is in free-fall…
President Armstrong has reportedly been what many call “a little too excited” about the Minouche Shafik Halloween costume she recently put together at Party City. Many of her known associates have reported…
After enormous media backlash for derogatory remarks made by a comedian at Trump’s Madison Square Garden rally on Sunday including calling Puerto Rico an “island of garbage,” the former president’s campaign has…
Due to limited seating in the Barnard dining hall, Hewitt, as well as an overwhelming number of complaints by frustrated Barnard Students, steps are being taken to limit the number of Columbia…
Neil Gorsuch is distinctly not dead. However, his legacy of The Fed takes up enough of my time and sanity that I must question his inadvertent influence on my life. I’m becoming…
