3. Chia pudding with anonymous accoutrements. It’s so fun to guess what dried food parcels are nestled into your healthy goo. Gwenyth Paltrow-endorsed, chia pudding always makes you feel better about yourself…
#1: Buy a penthouse on the Upper East Side. It can foster community and you won't be confined to a small apartment. It worked for iconic Columbia students Serena van der Woodsen…
It’s time to break out those safety scissors from your second grade pencil box. (Poultry scissors will suffice in a pinch.) Just grab a chunk of hair from the center of your…
Although Trump ignored RBG’s dying wish of being replaced after the election, she can rest easy knowing her replacement is not only from the “very disgraceful, liberal institution” where she went to…
To whomever is reading this: I am a cold, soggy-ass, lonely fucking slice of chickpea pizza. I was “baked” on March 10th (originally frozen a year prior). I used to gleefully bask…
The email continued “Although Justice Ginsberg may have begun law school at Harvard and only transferred to Columbia to accommodate her husband’s new job, her diploma says ‘Columbia’ so we get to…
“The appearance of the law must be upheld— especially when it is being broken.”Thought this was a murmuring about Columbia graduate students being evicted and losing their funding during a global pandemic?…
“Of course, Columbia has an ANTI-HAZING POLICY, so we will be abiding by that rule. OK now that all the narcs are gone, let’s get down to business.”…
A first-year CC student, who has opted to remain anonymous, has denied any wrongdoing. He claimed to Federalist reporters that “[he] was just trying to make things as close to real life…
Barnard students, once promised a sweet, sweet, robust, multi-million-dollar, testing regime, are left to fuck themselves with a Hitachi wand. Instead, Columbia donated Barnard’s shipment of fucks to NYU under the circumstances…
