“Got a sock,” said Montás in disbelief. “President threw it, and Montás caught it, and Montás—Montás is free.”…
“I probably should have known something was up when I entered and didn’t even check in with a human, just a slimy iPad from 2008.”…
“We’re going all out to ensure that every sad boi finds his sad non-gendered partner this Valentine’s Day.”…
If this journey has taught me anything, it is that I mustn't change who I am to find love with a future Goldman Sachs managing director. Instead, I must transfer to Barnard.…
“I’m an ally. I’m trying to create a better brand for this movement, one that better complies with established grammar rules.”…
The snake is reportedly cash-green and vaguely slimy-looking, with an Apple watch still attached to its body. …
“Robin was such a grinder,” said his roommate Tag Eisenhower CC’ 20. “For as long as I knew him he would put his body through absolute hell simply because he didn’t possess…
He was also spotted with a few of his Lit Hum books in his backpack, a clear indication he is planning to study those too, like a massive dork. …
“We engage with ideas from all over the world; Italy, Germany, France, England, New England…How could anyone still think that way after such an education?”…
“I mean, I’m very socially progressive and pro-sex and everything,” Carrie’s roommate Charlotte explains, “but come on, I need to get into my room sometimes to change my shirt or take my…
