We obvs believe all women, except if they accuse one of our bros of sexual assault. That’s just not cool, brah. All our Sigma Apple Pie bros are hot as fuck, they…
Sorority Girl Who “Loves How Her Birthday is Always During Spring Break” Feeling Less Smug Now
by Blake Jones
“It’s kind of, like, my thing, you know, that’s who I am and to have that taken away from me, it’s just, like, dude, that’s really not cool... like, I don’t think…
I am writing as both a personal gentrifier and an institutional one. Like the rest of white America who is just now learning about anti-Black racism, I have been pondering current events…
Although Elon Musk and Grimes’s baby is just days old, X Æ A-12 has become the first robot admitted to the Fu Foundation School of Engineering and Applied Sciences.…
Today, the Fed presents a lesson in biology from the newly unearthed “Orange Diaries” of Charles Darwin.…
According to the source, Bollinger’s email was translated into Pasho, Zulu, Kinyarwanda, and then finally into English in an attempt to ensure the fewest number of university affiliates understood its content.…
“I hope he’s not like this at school,” confided Weiss’s mother. “He’s always telling us he’s at some club called ‘Ref’, I think. I don’t know, maybe he’s less of a nerd…
Bollinger Tells Grad Student Union They Don’t Need Healthcare, Should Drink Vodka and Visit Sauna to Cure COVID
by Amelia Fay
"Money is tight right now; I can’t just spend willy nilly on luxuries like housing and salaries!”…
Kant: When your girlfriend asks if her voice sounds annoying over Zoom, you do not hesitate to truthfully say “yes, indeed it does.”…
“Stay where you are, get comfortable, and continue to study hard. We’ll be here until December.”…
