Looking for the shortest possible commute? Carlton Arms, a little-known dorm sitting neatly between Hartley and Wallach, is beloved by Columbia students for its convenient location! Do note that looking up “Carlton…
When Jerry and Kramer switch rooms, it causes a whole bunch of trouble for the gang! But this trouble still isn’t anywhere close to the lifelike robots that rebel against their creators…
Resident Girl in Red fan reports, “At first I thought my gaydar might be off and she was actually just straight, but then I saw her Chai Iced Latte. I mean, no…
“Was I hoping to be president? Sure. But as anyone who knows me can attest, I’ve always said, ‘If I can’t be president, then I’d want to be a dead ghost roaming…
5. Gaseous state…
At the undergraduate level, most vaccine decisions will be made based on major. A leaked list of majors shows that economics, computer science, physics, and mechanical engineering students will receive the vaccine…
Gone are the days of performance evaluations and career fairs. Now, I focus on ensuring my Sim prepares a Michelin star meal every night for her breadwinning husband.…
Trump’s inability to take on the Hazing in 2017, after Obama joined the Accords in 2016, previously cost the US membership. Sources have relayed that he proved himself to be “a bit…
Cruz, a notable Zodiac Killer impersonator who is a little too good at his job, told Federalist reporters he had a really really good reason for his vacation. (Our reporters would have…
Econ-cardio atrophius: Nearly all of Columbia’s econ majors suffer from this devastating condition wherein the act of consistently subordinating the needs of society to personal wealth causes the heart to atrophy. Common…
