New reports confirm that Barron Trump, in an attempt to juice up the attendance for his freshman-year birthday party at NYU, has proclaimed that one lucky partygoer will be selected to serve…
Columbia’s annual tree lighting is a cherished tradition to students and faculty alike. This year, make sure you’re there in person when the big moment comes. Administration has rearranged the schedule to…
Maybe it was hubris. Musically, I had a great year. Finally, I had freed myself from the soul-crushing grip of my middle-school music taste. I perused music Twitter. I watched Anthony Fantano…
One of the most important roles of a Columbia professor is to misrepresent facts to indoctrinate students into socialist, America-hating, pink-haired freaks. This is not only a part of their job description,…
One thing about my parents, my lovely, caring, generous parents, is that they’ve put a lot of time and effort into my education. They put me in all the best schools growing…
Cuffing season worked, and now you have a girlfriend for the holidays. It would be wonderful, the only problem is she wants you to meet her family… at Thanksgiving… in the Midwest.…
In a landmark ruling this week, the Supreme Court declared in a 6-3 decision that the Thanksgiving tradition in which the President pardons a turkey is actually a gross overreach of federal…
Are you such a pathetic little football team that you just love being degraded and humiliated by every major news outlet in the United States? Do you like having your first win…
Club promoter “Parents Weekend” is back, with an all-new atmosphere for cultivating familial longing. It’s that thing where your parents never invite you home because it’s not ‘worth it for just a…
On Monday, Mayor Eric Adams and New York City’s Department of Environmental Protection declared the city’s first drought warning in 22 years. This autumn’s severe dry conditions and recent brush fires drove…
