When asked for a comment, one grad student in Comparative Literature, who wished to remain anonymous, stated: “I don’t really know. It feels almost a little pointed, like he’s saying that we’re…
David Russel, senior class president for the 2001-2002 school year, broke down in tears after hearing “All Too Well (10 Minute Version)(Taylor’s Version)(From The Fault)” and resolved to take action. “I couldn’t…
I just met my new roommate and she seems really cool! She’s always talking about different foods and fun cuisines. She recommended we have a poppers night, so I’m running to H-Mart…
Union champion?: Graduate student workers were very surprised on Wednesday afternoon when they spotted Prezbo on the picket line. When asked why he was protesting, he replied that he is currently in…
With Halloween approaching, keep your eyes peeled for these ten ghosts you can find roaming around campus. Please note: The Federalist does not condone the harassment of any ghosts on campus. TREASURY…
Common Allergens When you walk into the club, all eyes will be on you. And those eyes will be watery as fuck. Splash some pet dander and dust mites on a cute…
7:54 PM: These silly little idiots think they’re going to Staten Island. Little do they know, they’re going to the spookiest Halloween party in Astoria. Toot toot, this boat is the same…
On Monday, Columbia University President Lee C. Bollinger announced via an email his “dissatisfaction and disappointment” with students’ lack of reaction to his recent display of Halloween spirit. What was thought to…
Fork and Spoon = Spork Yellow and blue crayon = green crayon Cord and socket = dongle Two halves of an Avocado = whole Avocado Salt and pepper = Everything-but-the-Bagel seasoning Bride…
Unknown to many, this Halloween marks the 100-year anniversary of the Alma Mater Massacre. Back in 1903, the Columbia Board of Trustees made a deal with Alma to get her to reside…
