Goose of choice: Does she prefer Golden or Canada? If her coat of choice costs as much as your meal plan, consider finding her parents on LinkedIn; they’re certainly Columbia alums (and…
JOHN JAY KITCHEN — With the recent opening of “Chef Mike’s Sub Shop” and popularity of Columbia Dining’s YouTube page, Chef Mike has decided to connect with his fans on Cameo. After…
Cockroach in Wallach Student’s Dorm Only Real Source of Friendship, Camaraderie
Lonely Wallach freshman Geoffrey Johnson reports feeling relief to have finally found friendship in a renegade cockroach living in his room. The student had struggled to make friends in his first semester…
BAKER ATHLETICS COMPLEX—After reviewing the latest assessment by the University’s COVID-19 Task Force on the risk of coronavirus spread, Columbia Athletics has announced an end to the ban on fans at home…
Columbia Students Playing Wordle Not Sure Why Parents’ Sizable Donations Not Enough to Gain Competitive Advantage
NEW YORK – Wordle has taken social media by storm, and Columbia is no exception. Students in Zoom classes have flocked to the popular word puzzle game to kill time and find…
Columbia Announces Student’s Friend’s Cousin’s Barber’s Niece is Competing in the Winter Olympics
Columbia has announced that Jen Smith, a student’s friend’s cousin’s barber’s niece, will be competing in the 2022 Winter Olympics as an alternate for the fiftieth alternate on the US Men’s Ice…
Happy Valentine’s Day, babes. With this bitter weather, I am a woman wrapped in layers. When it comes to getting down and dirty, I whisper a seductive mantra. As you peel down…
Super Bowl Provides Easy Excuse as to Why You’re Not Getting Any This Valentine’s Day
The Super Bowl’s unfortunate scheduling for the day before Valentine’s Day is DEFINITELY the reason your date canceled on you. We go to Columbia—it’s a football school for crying out loud! It…
If you, like us, are prone to procrastination and indecision, it might be hard to find a spot to take your date. Luckily, we Fed writers, with an extensive familiarity with all…
Following the announcement that the first two weeks of classes would be held online, provost Mary Boyce has officially announced that the following two weeks will also be virtual. When asked about…