As a dedicated writer for the Columbia Federalist, I do my best to make sure that my content is on the cutting edge of pop culture. I strive to keep all Fed…
After her recent appointment to Columbia, President Shafik was quick to announce her first campaign: Make Columbia British Again. After immediately renaming the school King’s College, of course, here are her proposed…
I believed the cliches in the media that as soon as I left for college, my parents would end their 20-year marriage. Well, here I am, halfway through my freshman year, looking…
As a big city college girl grueling away at my work, I’m happy and independent. Alas, it’s the only time of year these movies take place so I’m heading home for the…
It’s not often that Fed needs to come out with an entirely serious piece, but you all have pushed us to our limit. Please, for the love of Jesus, we are not…
In a bombshell statement put out last Thursday, the architect of Lerner Hall, Dr. Justin Sane, showed complete disdain for the building’s appearance and sympathized with student criticisms. “We all had a…
Out from the closet when it covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whichever coat may be For the unconquerable cold. In the fell clutch of feathers…
We here at the Federalist are proud to announce that we are for boats. If our readers have had one complaint about our work over the years, it is that we haven’t…
Welcome to my cool boy-girl Hanukkah party! It’s me, you probably remember me from my sick Torah portion at my bar mitzvah two years ago. Anyway, I’m a man now and I’m…
December 14: Put Barnard in your bio. Alternate between “Barnard ♔ Columbia 2027,” “Barnard ’27 💙,” “@barnardcollege,” and “barnard” for the next twelve to fourteen months until you forget it’s there in…
