“Hey guys and welcome to my What’s in My Bag vlog as a student at Columbia University! Today I’m going to be—oh, you need to check my bag? For non-racial profiling reasons……
Dear Madame Vice President, Heyyyy girly! We know you’ve been having A Week. Shots on us whenever you’re ready to talk, but in the meantime, have a playlist! Sincerely, The Fed 10.…
The silent workers tremble A thunderous burst of sound I coughed in Butler…
Our readers wrote in to ask questions of The Fed’s resident boy supergenius: Caleb Brooks, age 4, IQ of 280, from Lincoln, Nebraska. Q: Dear Caleb the boy supergenius, Sometimes when I’m…
As a result of the Columbia Lions’ recent epic losses, Roar–ee stated in a recent interview with The Federalist that, after some self-reflection, he has decided it will be best for his…
Last week, The Fed announced that they would be re-registering as a corporation within the state of Pennsylvania, effectively giving their 40+ members the right to register and vote (albeit belatedly) in…
Today, New York City officially made one of its most ancient and sacred practices legal. Even though I didn’t even know it was actually “illegal,” the rebellious act of crossing the street…
In the wake of Donald Trump’s landslide victory in the 2024 presidential election, many of us have leveraged our shock and outrage into speculation. There has been furious debate online about which…
Come one! Come all! Hear ye this tale of woe, and depart with a new hack for this dreadful winter season. A fortnight ago, ‘twas shiveringly cold in my dormitory. I tossed…
In response to the recent Timothée Chalamet look-alike contest in New York in October, a Harry Styles look-alike contest emerged in London, a Paul Mescal look-alike contest in Dublin, and a Jeremy…
