Ben and Jerry, wherever you are, I am requesting a threesome. Get your humanitarian asses out of Vermont and to my apartment PRONTO.…
One thing led to another, and my night, I am sorry to say, ended in the basement of Mudd.…
The Fed Endorses Warren, Klobuchar, Sanders, Biden, Buttigieg, Yang, Bloomberg, and Trump
by Alex Horn
No matter who wins, we called it.…
If you missed the description on my LinkedIn, basically what I’m doing is assisting the Vice Head Associate Partner’s Social Media Assistant at Tommy Hilfiger.…
“I mean, I’m very socially progressive and pro-sex and everything,” Carrie’s roommate Charlotte explains, “but come on, I need to get into my room sometimes to change my shirt or take my…
I was trying to listen when you talked to me about your grandmother’s tragic passing from pneumonia, but frankly, it just didn’t draw me in. …
Op-Ed: My Shoelaces Aren’t The Same Length (And Other Problems We Need To Talk About)
by Julian Pecht
"Also, impending North Korean nuclear annihilation."…
"We wish that we had not framed our Tamagotchi as an accessory to a triple homicide so as to relieve ourselves of the responsibilities of parenthood."…
"Wont thy scuchmachine to chinwagin me, yon the babe gosling (UUUWK kweouk UUUWK kweouk?) roasts sur the cripplecrappletendercackle and we setten."…
In the coming months, Columbians will finally have something to fill the orange-chicken-sized hole in their hearts.…
