When asked if the group members had any concerns about the carbon footprint of an animal-based meal, they all responded “carbon schmarbon” in perfect unison…
“I’m on the verge of a fucking breakdown. If I don’t get into ‘Earth, Moon, and Planets’ I might need to drop out and reconsider my entire future.”…
When Bollinger was later asked how this new anti-marching policy would apply to CUMB’s beloved ORGO night, he responded “I guess as long as they saunter into Butler, it should be chill.”…
She is distraught that Joey has not responded to her calls for weeks about his care package and that nice girl from Bacchanal.…
You can’t be emasculated by this guy. He’s got a ponytail, 1970s aviator glasses, and pink socks under his L. L. Bean boots.…
Sixth Floor: PART OF THE COLUMBIA CS CLUBSeventh Floor: PROFOUND AND EVERLASTING LONELINESSEighth Floor: WRITES FOR SPEC…
For your reference, a good rule of thumb for networking is that, if Mo Bamba played in the background for 75% of our conversation, I probably don’t intend to strike up a…
“Now, the dipshit’s gone and pissed off Shub-Niggurath, the Black Goat of the Woods with the Thousand Young,” Core professor Ricardo Hernandez said.…
After Ancestry.com Binge, President Bollinger Comes Out as One-Sixteenth Native American
by Anonymous
In his concluding remarks, Bollinger made a surprising revelation: “I have been notified by my ancestors that all lands previously inhabited by the Lenape people have been granted to me, personally.”…
