I am writing as both a personal gentrifier and an institutional one. Like the rest of white America who is just now learning about anti-Black racism, I have been pondering current events…
Although Elon Musk and Grimes’s baby is just days old, X Æ A-12 has become the first robot admitted to the Fu Foundation School of Engineering and Applied Sciences.…
According to the source, Bollinger’s email was translated into Pasho, Zulu, Kinyarwanda, and then finally into English in an attempt to ensure the fewest number of university affiliates understood its content.…
“I hope he’s not like this at school,” confided Weiss’s mother. “He’s always telling us he’s at some club called ‘Ref’, I think. I don’t know, maybe he’s less of a nerd…
Bollinger Tells Grad Student Union They Don’t Need Healthcare, Should Drink Vodka and Visit Sauna to Cure COVID
by Amelia Fay
"Money is tight right now; I can’t just spend willy nilly on luxuries like housing and salaries!”…
“Stay where you are, get comfortable, and continue to study hard. We’ll be here until December.”…
The Facebook Knight: “Columbia students, do better.”…
Bollinger declares himself the “Simba of this savannah.”…
Bollinger Cancels Classes Due to Coronavirus: Columbia Closes Campus, Creating Covid Conniption
by Nurasyl Shokeyev and Alex Horn
As of press time, several members of the Columbia Administration were spotted at JFK International Airport, wearing hazmat suits and waiting for a flight to Antarctica.…
One thing led to another, and my night, I am sorry to say, ended in the basement of Mudd.…
