“We are a pretty social dorm,” Kelvin bragged bashfully, “Before I went into hibernation, we organised a floor outing to see the Battle of the Bands in Lerner Party Space— our usual…
PrezBo told the Fed: “I was eager to find out how Trump managed to pay only $750 in taxes in 2016. I’m still paying closer to $1,000 in income tax -- I…
#1: Buy a penthouse on the Upper East Side. It can foster community and you won't be confined to a small apartment. It worked for iconic Columbia students Serena van der Woodsen…
Although Trump ignored RBG’s dying wish of being replaced after the election, she can rest easy knowing her replacement is not only from the “very disgraceful, liberal institution” where she went to…
To whomever is reading this: I am a cold, soggy-ass, lonely fucking slice of chickpea pizza. I was “baked” on March 10th (originally frozen a year prior). I used to gleefully bask…
The email continued “Although Justice Ginsberg may have begun law school at Harvard and only transferred to Columbia to accommodate her husband’s new job, her diploma says ‘Columbia’ so we get to…
“The appearance of the law must be upheld— especially when it is being broken.”Thought this was a murmuring about Columbia graduate students being evicted and losing their funding during a global pandemic?…
A first-year CC student, who has opted to remain anonymous, has denied any wrongdoing. He claimed to Federalist reporters that “[he] was just trying to make things as close to real life…
Barnard students, once promised a sweet, sweet, robust, multi-million-dollar, testing regime, are left to fuck themselves with a Hitachi wand. Instead, Columbia donated Barnard’s shipment of fucks to NYU under the circumstances…
This morning Pres Daddy Bo and Pres Daddy Hamilton announced a historic merger of their respective universities: Columbia and NYU. This marks a pivotal moment in the histories of both institutions, which…
