“We live in terror that our hair—our bangs, our highlights, our experiments with wispy mustaches, our pubes for christ’s sake—just won’t be up to code” said one Columbia junior, addressing the Head…
I’m a senior in CC, and I was really looking forward to being the TA for General Chemistry this semester. I’ve always wanted to be that TA that everyone crushes on, but…
Goose of choice: Does she prefer Golden or Canada? If her coat of choice costs as much as your meal plan, consider finding her parents on LinkedIn; they’re certainly Columbia alums (and…
JOHN JAY KITCHEN — With the recent opening of “Chef Mike’s Sub Shop” and popularity of Columbia Dining’s YouTube page, Chef Mike has decided to connect with his fans on Cameo. After…
Lonely Wallach freshman Geoffrey Johnson reports feeling relief to have finally found friendship in a renegade cockroach living in his room. The student had struggled to make friends in his first semester…
BAKER ATHLETICS COMPLEX—After reviewing the latest assessment by the University’s COVID-19 Task Force on the risk of coronavirus spread, Columbia Athletics has announced an end to the ban on fans at home…
NEW YORK – Wordle has taken social media by storm, and Columbia is no exception. Students in Zoom classes have flocked to the popular word puzzle game to kill time and find…
Columbia has announced that Jen Smith, a student’s friend’s cousin’s barber’s niece, will be competing in the 2022 Winter Olympics as an alternate for the fiftieth alternate on the US Men’s Ice…
Following the announcement that the first two weeks of classes would be held online, provost Mary Boyce has officially announced that the following two weeks will also be virtual. When asked about…
LERNER 569 (nice) — A survey of attendees at last Sunday’s Federalist meeting has revealed a surprising trend in the highly esteemed paper’s writers. Noticing dwindling attendance numbers, Supreme Overlords Gustie and…
