This morning, one incredibly brave female Columbian made a shocking assertion when she discovered that one girl in her lecture was actually a Barnard student. “Oh, you go to Barnard? You’re so…
It’s not often that Fed needs to come out with an entirely serious piece, but you all have pushed us to our limit. Please, for the love of Jesus, we are not…
In a bombshell statement put out last Thursday, the architect of Lerner Hall, Dr. Justin Sane, showed complete disdain for the building’s appearance and sympathized with student criticisms. “We all had a…
Welcome to my cool boy-girl Hanukkah party! It’s me, you probably remember me from my sick Torah portion at my bar mitzvah two years ago. Anyway, I’m a man now and I’m…
December 14: Put Barnard in your bio. Alternate between “Barnard ♔ Columbia 2027,” “Barnard ’27 💙,” “@barnardcollege,” and “barnard” for the next twelve to fourteen months until you forget it’s there in…
“After the first lecture, I can’t even recall seeing Chris in my classroom. For him to help his classmates in such a major way by utterly bombing his final exceeded all my…
It was once described that Columbia was for the depressed to live out their esoteric NYC main character fantasies, yet we are constantly surrounded by all these happy couples. The audacity! Thus…
“There’s no better way of experiencing New York City than scavenging for housing in early August after being denied housing as a transfer student with no promises of entry in future housing…
“But babe, it happens to the best of us. Just look at the trees,” said Jacob Simmons, CC ’23, to his girlfriend Carly Biels, CC ’23. This year’s tree lighting, which took…
Listen here, Columbia. These puny little Christmas string lights ain’t cutting it. When you say you’re lighting the trees, I expect them to be awash with light. Dazzlingly bright, some may even…
