Barnard and Columbia students alike were disappointed to hear that the only gym available for use in the fall semester is the sweaty, subterranean hidey-hole of Dodge, due to renovations to the…
I’m sorry for the clickbait, Jerry, but this is an intervention. Your passion for beatboxing is tearing this family apart. I hear your “oooooooooo”s at night—in our bed, in the home that…
wThe school year is just starting, and we’re all meeting new people. With these first impressions, it is vital that other people know EXACTLY what you’re studying. The Fed is back with…
It’s that time of year again. The leaves are falling, the air is crisp, and the Fed is here to bring you your much needed Homecoming survival tips. Football season is upon…
Carman Hall, the infamous “party” dorm for Columbia first-years, is seeing a major shake-up after the Charmin Ultra Soft family donated 50,000 toilet paper rolls to the university. Shayna Mikowski, a spokesperson…
Dear Federalist, When I first arrived at Columbia in August for NSOP, I was nervous about making friends. Not because I’m shy or weird or a loser or anything. I’m very cool…
In an earth-shattering decision from the new dean of Columbia College, Dr. Josef Sorett announced to students via email that digging a tunnel to the core of the Earth will now count…
LOW STEPS — As the summer comes to a close, Columbia students return to campus with an abundance of professional experiences. We interviewed three students to find out more about what Columbia…
Columbia Community, On Monday, September 5, 2022 at approximately 8:34 a.m. a driverless moped was spotted traveling rapidly along Broadway. Moped is suspected to have suddenly gained consciousness after a freak lightning…
Remember that spotted lanternfly you squashed the other day? You were walking to class, and you saw it sitting on the ground, and you thought, “Why not?” And then it took off…
