Dear members of the Columbia community: I am writing to you to share with you how we are thinking about recent events regarding public access and heightened security presence on campus. The…
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK – Earlier this month, the New York Post reported that Barron Trump, son of Donald and Melania Trump, was beginning his first year at New York University’s Stern School…
Oh how I wish I could go back to the day when I clicked that little “Upload Photo” box on SSOL. It seemed so innocent, just begging me to have some fun…
Have you ever exited Hewitt–brownie, pizza, and soft serve in hand–and been stared down by a brown-haired, turtlenecked headshot of the elusive “Barnard Dietitian?” Perhaps you also pondered questions like: should I…
Colin, a first-year PoliSci student from Ohio, called his mom to tell her he finally got invited to his first college party! He didn’t even get to the Carman floor nine lounge…
We at The Federalist are proud to announce our first-of-its-kind, exclusive interview with a transgender extraterrestrial from the ❆❅❄ star system.“⟟ ⏃⋔ ⏃ ⏁⍀⏃⋏⌇☌⟒⋏⎅⟒,” it said, admiring the penis fountain near Low.…
Declaring that they were “getting back to their roots” and expressing their “sadness that it didn’t work out,” the Columbia University Board of Trustees announced in a recent email that they plan…
PRESIDENT SHAFIK IS GONE. WE BEAT SPEC TO TELLING YOU. TIMES ARE A’CHANGIN. NO NEED FOR MORE SPEC-FED FRISBEE GAMES, WE WIN BABYYYYY…
In a leaked letter to faculty and staff from Baroness Shafik and the Board of Trustees, The Fed has discovered the real reason why campus has closed and commencement has been canceled. …
