Following a study conducted by the Columbia Graduate School of Architecture, researchers determined that Low Library falsely claimed an altitude far below its real location on campus. Architectural scholars, who had long…
In recent campus news, Columbia representatives announced that legacy admission students would now be given a leg up in getting into the university: “We believe that the debates about the impact of…
Columbia Dining recently announced that, due to Trump’s newly enacted eggonomic policies, each student would be limited to two eggs per day. Egg consumption will be tracked via CUID and cross-referenced by…
This morning, Columbia Dining announced that the infamous campus currency Dining Dollars has been renamed “Cafe East Dollars,” because “that’s literally the only place you can use them anyways.” Columbia has long…
With the increasing pressures being put on Columbia University by the Trump administration in the form of heightened surveillance and targeting of students, academic programs, and funding, many community members have reported…
Columbia Dining recently announced a new initiative to take pressure off of campus dining halls during peak hours—Hooda Halal will now accept meal plan dining swipes. “The popularity of Hooda among the…
The Columbia English department recently published a study on the usage of personal anecdotes in creative writing “fiction” among university students. The department began funding the study after Professor O. Versher found…
Following the success of the Apple TV drama Severance, JJ’s has instituted the severance procedure for all its visitors. Once you go down those sticky, slippery stairs, you won’t remember anything your…
Each year of my life, I’ve looked forward to the beginning of April like a kid looks forward to presents on Christmas Day. And no, it’s not because of the idiotic, childish…
In a recent April newsletter, Barnard Dining announced that only Barnard students will be allowed to dine at Hewitt Dining Hall. Beginning Monday, April 14th, students enrolled in CC, SEAS, and GS…
