Have you ever walked by that silly little marble bench while you’re on the way to take up too much space at Milstein’s tiny tables? Ever noticed that the bench has cute…
Barnard administration has recently unveiled a new program aiming to reduce the quantity and severity of fires in the Quad: an annual ‘controlled burn’ of select dormitories. Ms. Ashley Vargas, Barnard’s very…
What can I say? She’s your favorite mentally-ill bitch’s favorite mentally-ill bitch, and I can’t help but stan her for it. Sorry if women having boundaries makes you feel emasculated or cheated…
Due to limited seating in the Barnard dining hall, Hewitt, as well as an overwhelming number of complaints by frustrated Barnard Students, steps are being taken to limit the number of Columbia…
Despite promising a warm welcome for new transfer students to Barnard College’s tight-knit community, Residential Life & Housing rejected and waitlisted nearly all housing applications from transfers. By August, only 30 out…
Oh Woozoo, Your blessed blades breathe air within my Brooks dorm room Your swiveling head surveys atop the shoebox, sustaining a subtle breeze that whispers a coo I know it is not…
Citing the campus-famous maxim “Barnard to bed, Columbia to wed,” Katrina Armstrong is commencing her interim presidency by announcing a five-year strategic plan aimed at lowering the rate of Barnard boyfriends. “These…
Happy first year of college you little queers! It’s so cute that you decided to come to a historically women’s college because you love theorizing gender and also want to escape your…
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK – Earlier this month, the New York Post reported that Barron Trump, son of Donald and Melania Trump, was beginning his first year at New York University’s Stern School…
Have you ever exited Hewitt–brownie, pizza, and soft serve in hand–and been stared down by a brown-haired, turtlenecked headshot of the elusive “Barnard Dietitian?” Perhaps you also pondered questions like: should I…
