When several students protested the insanity of this demand, a Columbia spokesman replied: “The university understands the financial difficulty of these unprecedented times—we did, after all, absorb the previously proposed 2% tuition…
3. Chia pudding with anonymous accoutrements. It’s so fun to guess what dried food parcels are nestled into your healthy goo. Gwenyth Paltrow-endorsed, chia pudding always makes you feel better about yourself…
“Of course, Columbia has an ANTI-HAZING POLICY, so we will be abiding by that rule. OK now that all the narcs are gone, let’s get down to business.”…
6. Peter Rabbit: 0/10 - Minus 9.5 points because he’s voiced by James Corden. Minus another 0.5 points because his movie mocks children with allergies… #CancelPeterRabbit let’s get it trending!!!!…
Even though we’re in the midst of a pandemic, there’s still so much pressure to meet someone you like, build a symbiotic relationship, and produce 100 zygotes by the age of 27.…
Kant: When your girlfriend asks if her voice sounds annoying over Zoom, you do not hesitate to truthfully say “yes, indeed it does.”…
General Soleimani was a martyr and a hero. America only has fictional heros, like Spongebob and Ronald McDonald.…
Hell will now be relocated to an area just west of Heaven, and will still be kinda shitty, but in a trendy way, and with the option for Holy Gentrification by next…
Santa managed to eject before the collision; however, Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer along with his other fellow reindeer were killed. #RIPtheReindeer has been trending on Twitter, while clowns all over the…
