President Katrina Armstrong has declared that The Art of the Deal by Donald Trump will be added as required reading in all CC classes beginning next semester. “I know some community members…
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! At 8 AM, you wake up in your cramped Carman Hall dorm and pull your hair into a messy bun. You slip on an oversized hoodie, ripped jeans, and…
After the announcement that the Trump administration would be cutting $400 million in funding to Columbia University last week, President Armstrong announced that she was “deeply committed to ensuring that we find…
A new study from Reuters finds, in a shocking reversal of conventional major wisdom, all undergraduate students from Columbia University are now equally unemployable. In the wake of over $400 million in…
Both Stanford and Columbia’s campuses have been buzzing with anticipation as they wait for the two schools to battle it out and make a final decision regarding an age-old battle: which university…
We don’t care. We took the money. He has a hot girlfriend and journalistic ethics have never been real. Look at yourself, you freak! You’re wearing Amazon sweatpants! You bought a watch…
Ahead of President-re-elect Donald Trump’s inauguration, businesses are making big changes to their environmental messaging, adapting to dire projections of climate change. Everyone’s favorite childhood restaurant, the Rainforest Cafe, has announced that…
With the announcement that Barnard will be $252 million in projected debt for its construction project, the college is scrambling to redistribute its funding and grow its endowment. Emails have been sent…
Infamous for its controversial alumni including Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and Dr. Oz, the University of Pennsylvania really needed a cool, likeable alumnus to rebuke their current public perception as the nation’s…
In his last press conference as the sitting President of the United States, President Biden announced that he had finalized a deal with the fitness company SoulCycle to join the team as…
