As the House of Representatives has recently voted to expel George Santos, there has been a swarm of media attention surrounding his future career plans. In a statement made on Friday morning,…
It’s a recent phenomenon, Friendsgiving. Much like the famed and corporatized “Galentine’s Day,” Friendsgiving has become another holiday about celebrating your found family: getting together with your closest pals, cooking a hearty…
Columbia Announces New Gate Policy: Visitors Must Solve a Troll’s Three Riddles in Lieu of Showing CUIDs
Move over NYPD, the trolls are here! In response to increasing political tensions on campus, the colleges of Columbia University have introduced a magical new system to regulate gate traffic. The regulation…
New Report Shows Rep. George Santos Also Used Campaign Funds to Sponsor Barnard Big Sub Day
Diva down! A newly unearthed report reveals that in addition to Botox, Sephora, and OnlyFans, Representative George Santos used official campaign funds to sponsor the 2023 Barnard Big Sub Day. When questioned…
HELP! TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE HALLOWEEKEND AND I CANT FIND MY GOTH GF!
Amidst all the ghouls, goblins, ghosts, and platform shoe-d frankensteins, exists your platform Doc Marten wearing girlfriend “Twas the night before Halloweekend, and all through campus, Not a creature was stirring, not…
Inauguration Pushed to Friday after Chef Don and Chef Mike’s Opening Act Play, Of Meatballs and Men, Runs Long
When a crowd gathered around Low Steps on Wednesday to watch the once-in-a-decade inauguration of a new Columbia president, many were at first confused why she stood waiting in the wings. At…
Notorious misogynist and (even worse) Canadian Jordan Peterson is coming to campus and instead of telling you where or when you can find him speaking, I recommend you put that bigotry boner…
Rabbinical Council of America Rules Eating at John Jay is Sufficient Repentance for Yom Kippur, Fasting Not Required
BREAKING – Jewish students at Columbia on this autumn morning to discover a new Yom Kippur rule passed by the Rabbinical Council of America. “After consulting a long lost, ancient printing of…
Moments ago, The Blue and White Magazine editors released a statement calling for the return of the briefcase containing their annual allocated budget by the Activities Board at Columbia. The metal briefcase,…
“When We Go Low, You Go High”: Low Steps Contact Highs Lower Seasonal Depression Rates by 40 Percent
For those looking for the positive effects of climate change, look no further! Research conducted through the Office of Environmental Health and Safety, released earlier this week, shows that contact highs on…