Last Sunday at 11:59 pm, Cafe East employee Earl Yearling returned from his smoke break to check on his latest batch of boba when he spotted two men deconstructing the on-campus café’s…
As temperatures dropped into the 30°F on Wednesday, the Penis Fountains of Low Steps were reported defending their smaller appendage size under the common wives tales of “being cold.” Scientists and university…
We’ve all seen it: maybe we’re a little touch-starved or maybe the sun is hitting his sculpted bronze body at just the right angle, but there is no denying that the statue…
On a crisp Monday afternoon, as the falling leaves scattered across Low Steps, I ran into a boy. Tastefully dressed in SigEp merchandise, a long trench coat layered over his specially printed…
Following a visit to campus by inspectors from the Middle States Commission on Higher Education, the Columbia Graduate School of Architecture, Planning and Preservation was shut down in a mere thirty seconds.…
That’s right. We said it. Imagine you on the cover of the Fed, following the legacy of Pr*zbo. We would draw you in such cool and funky ways that everyone will know…
On Friday, the Columbia Federalist staff writers Swalla Manob (CC ‘24) and Ina Ormazbals (GS ‘25) were met with accusations of academic plagiarism as reported anonymously to the administration. Even more shocking…
With students constantly decrying Columbia’s seemingly rigged class registration system, the university has announced its new strategy for ensuring that as many students get their desired classes as possible: waitlists for waitlists.…
Last Thursday, three of Columbia University’s undergraduate colleges, Columbia College, the School for Engineering and Applied Sciences, and Barnard College, sent out application decisions to Early Decisions applicants. All three of the…
As the semester has entered its waning days, the Columbia administration has announced a bold new policy that will condense finals week into a “finals day.” The statement read as follows: “It…
