On the twelfth day of Christmas my situationship gave to me: Twelve IDs tapping, Eleven JJs nuggets, Ten football losses, Nine discussion posts, Eight Kingsmen singing, Seven frat parties, Six baddies fumbled,…
I truly can’t wait for my suite’s traditional Secret Santa. My roommates and I do it all together every year: drinking hot cocoa, playing Mariah Carey on vinyl, and exchanging presents to…
Following their mandated reading of the Sparknotes for Homer’s Iliad in their LitHum classes, several freshmen have found some modern thematic resonance that was most certainly not on the administration’s approved thought…
Continuing their multi-year saga of controversial decisions, Columbia’s administration has recently announced that their famed merch store will, shockingly, continue to sell books. The store, which sprawls below the basement of Lerner…
‘Twas the night before my midterm, when all through the floor The athletes were stirring, those terrible whores. Their mouths pierced the restful reading room with flair, In hopes that one and…
Dining in tonight? Hey! You deaf son of a bitch! Stay behind the line!!…
Fran Splant, CC ’29, was recently spotted wearing a sweatshirt with ‘It Will Always Be New York or Nowhere’ printed on the back. The Fed verified this information with various third-party sources,…
When Sean Cena (CC ‘29) learned about Columbia College’s four-semester foreign language requirement, he felt stuck. “I wanted to actually learn something,” Cena told The Fed. It was the end of the…
To the Bwog Editorial Board, Please accept this correspondence as a formal notice to immediately cease and desist all requests for a sequel to “‘Pressed’ Up: A Fed x Spec Fanfiction.” Your…
Photographer Forrest Lenker recently won the NYU photography competition for his incredible 35mm raw photograph of his duo-cross-poly, committed, primary-second partner-once-removed cheating on him with his tertiary, second-degree ex-situationship at a hardcore…
