Everything seemed fine at first. We made our group chat, and my phone suggested that I update her contact picture to her pre-selected image of Twilight Sparkle. I ignored it, and we…
If you, like us, are prone to procrastination and indecision, it might be hard to find a spot to take your date. Luckily, we Fed writers, with an extensive familiarity with all…
As Columbia students approach the revered campuswide tradition of investment banking recruitment season, one recent grad we interviewed had some helpful advice to share with our reporters. Our interview was originally scheduled…
Bring Christmas lights on the train and decorate your own car. Treat the subway like your own personal vehicle; they’re called subway cars for a reason. Decorate your dorm to look like…
Cut your dick off CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF Go to church Thanksgiving Issue, November 2021…
“I’m the co-president of X club!” Just replace X with the name of any former president and talk about how you initiate campus-wide discussions on hot-button issues. Make it sound super impressive…
Fork and Spoon = Spork Yellow and blue crayon = green crayon Cord and socket = dongle Two halves of an Avocado = whole Avocado Salt and pepper = Everything-but-the-Bagel seasoning Bride…
HotVax summer is upon us. Masks are off, fake IDs are out, and more than a few Columbia students have found themselves skipping summer classes and shirking internship work to savor the…
5. Gaseous state…
5. Lament to the Nobu delivery person about how much you miss the ambience…
