Cut your dick off CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF Go to church Thanksgiving Issue, November 2021…
“I’m the co-president of X club!” Just replace X with the name of any former president and talk about how you initiate campus-wide discussions on hot-button issues. Make it sound super impressive…
Fork and Spoon = Spork Yellow and blue crayon = green crayon Cord and socket = dongle Two halves of an Avocado = whole Avocado Salt and pepper = Everything-but-the-Bagel seasoning Bride…
HotVax summer is upon us. Masks are off, fake IDs are out, and more than a few Columbia students have found themselves skipping summer classes and shirking internship work to savor the…
5. Gaseous state…
5. Lament to the Nobu delivery person about how much you miss the ambience…
Disclaimer: The Federalist is in no way promoting trespassing or the defacement of posters advertising an absolutely awful president. We are merely showing our readers (who will do this with or without…
#1: Buy a penthouse on the Upper East Side. It can foster community and you won't be confined to a small apartment. It worked for iconic Columbia students Serena van der Woodsen…
4. Biting your lip continuously for three minutes straight. The science is there folks: biting your lip for extended periods of time actually restricts blood flow to your lips and sends it…
Even though we’re in the midst of a pandemic, there’s still so much pressure to meet someone you like, build a symbiotic relationship, and produce 100 zygotes by the age of 27.…
