"The freshman is now able to efficiently balance his time between understanding the ethics of Hellenistic culture, and informing all of his recent sexual partners that they should get tested."…
"At first I thought it was strange that he seemed to be tuning the piano, which seemed to be in working condition; but real Hell broke loose when we realized the doors…
"Let me bury my secrets deep inside that expensive leather man-bag you keep strapped to your lanky midwestern frame."…
"These people don’t speak English and no one here has watched Stranger Things."…
Learn a thing or two from the Fed's wisest.…
"I am an only child—and yet, the grill is their favorite member of the family."…
"I mean, it's definitely a tough situation they've got over there."…
“It’s important to understand the foundations of our culture, but it’s more important to understand the foundations of the culture that is about to dominate ours.”…
"Program participants will receive an engraved Brown University bong, readily available for purchase at the university bookstore for $39.95."…
“Let’s not mince words: the students at this school are fugly."…
