4. Biting your lip continuously for three minutes straight. The science is there folks: biting your lip for extended periods of time actually restricts blood flow to your lips and sends it…
“Everything changed for me when they uploaded the Hamilton soundtrack to Spotify,” she said. “That was when I got really into the play and became a U.S. history expert.” (Curiously, Kaiser received…
We obvs believe all women, except if they accuse one of our bros of sexual assault. That’s just not cool, brah. All our Sigma Apple Pie bros are hot as fuck, they…
“Will there be someone there to sign me in?” - Faith Kwanzaa Rubenstein, BC ‘22. Major: Queering Intersectional Veganism…
The subjects were seen frantically pantomiming, soliloquizing, and talking to a skull in the vicinity of Miller Theatre. There is one casualty confirmed at this time.…
“Here, It’s all about the feel and texture of the card. The plastic has to feel right in your fingers. When you know this is not a legitimate ID, it’s time to…
The Federalist Paper stands — or, rather, marches — in solidarity with the Columbia University Marching Band (CUMB), our brothers and sisters in satire. …
“He just looks so thin and pale in his facestagrams that I knew I had to give him his own mother’s medicine: my famous Latkes!” Marsha said.…
Reveal concerning emotional trauma in a creative writing workshop and then cry into your professor’s arms.…
“Now that I am here, though I’ve faced unspeakable acts of discrimination. So far, my below-average intelligence, glossy hair, and AmEx Black in my father’s name have been enough to carry me…
