It’s that time of year again… your Butler crush has seen you in full cruddy midterms glory, that one JJs guy knows you by name, and your fall wardrobe is in free-fall…
Midterm season is upon us, and the ennui hangs thicker in the air than the scent of Dig Inn on 113th and Broadway. As you try to ignore the first caress of…
To all my wanton degenerates of Barnumbia, If you have felt a complete lack of vim, vigor, sex appeal, or any other ~lustful~ emotions since returning to campus, have no fear: I,…
Stunning investigative journalism by the Colombia Spectador recently discovered that Mondel Chocolates, the beloved chocolate shop on 114th and Broadway that nobody has ever been inside of, has stayed in business for…
Every parent dreams of their child going to an amazing college… unless that child gets there and decides to major in the humanities, it seems! Sorry, Mom—if, instead of letting me read…
Hi! It’s your Spotify Wrapped here! I just wanted to let you know that you (yes, you!) have the worst music taste out of pretty much every person who uses this app.…
All humanities classes are in Hamilton, you idiot STEM major. Actually, some of them were bi. My thesis on Nietzschean abstraction will serve me well when I am Columbia’s first Baton Rouge-based…
With the start of another academic year, student-led startups have been popping up all over Columbia’s campus, promising unsuspecting and hungry undergrads the melting glazed donut of their dreams if they sign…
We at the Fed know one’s first year can be the scariest time in college, so we reached out to the worldwide network of Columbia alumni to ask what they wish they…
Chef Don’s new dining hall has been an instant hit with both campus pizza enthusiasts and the concerning amount of students who know more than fifty digits of pi. To celebrate the…
