Every student to pass through these hallowed halls must come to the same realization: not that they’ve made the wrong choice to come to Columbia, nor that majoring in Poly Sci is…
Ever been polishing your pearl and thought, You know what would make this better? A little Ivy League spirit. Or maybe you’re rendezvousing with that special someone and suddenly wonder, Would my…
Columbia Federalist reporters were lucky to catch Ohio-native, congressman, and vice-president-hopeful J.D. Vance on his way home from the furniture store and asked him a few questions in advance of the general…
An individual’s relationship with their roommate is an intimate and ancient bond, one that requires constant communication and careful maintenance. Or at least, I thought so. When my roommate and I used…
It’s Halloween season and campus is as scary as ever. From the devilish decorations in our dining halls to vague attempts by RAs to be “festive,” the spooky feeling is spreading. Yet…
Die-hard Core Curriculum fans rejoice! The Center for the Core Curriculum is pleased to announce its newest addition to the Columbia Core Curriculum: “Masterpieces of Personal Hygiene,” otherwise referred to as “Stank…
Exactly two days ago today, I made a big decision. I decided to reject my offer at Goldman Sachs and take the leap into the part-time lawn care business, specifically the lawn…
Earlier this month, Federalist reporters were offered an exclusive opportunity to sit down with the newest famous Columbia alumna, McBain Mold. From their meek rental fridge beginnings to their newly minted Hollywood…
If you love a slutty little runny nose and sultry wet cough, I have just the place for you: New York’s hottest club is the Columbia Health Clinic. Located on the most…
Columbia Community, On Monday, September 5, 2022 at approximately 8:34 a.m. a driverless moped was spotted traveling rapidly along Broadway. Moped is suspected to have suddenly gained consciousness after a freak lightning…
