In a leaked letter to faculty and staff from Baroness Shafik and the Board of Trustees, The Fed has discovered the real reason why campus has closed and commencement has been canceled. …
Come here child, what did you bring me? Oh, some delicious apples, how lovely. You’re so nice to your grandma, sweetheart. I’m so lucky to eat you—I mean have you. What big…
Hi Columbia. It’s me again. I know you’ve heard my very loud and very public pleas over the last three expensive years that I’ve spent at your institution. You might’ve thought I…
Dear Blue and White, Let’s kiss. We’d just be so powerful together. Think about it; a two-color undergraduate magazine that’s old as shit, and a sexy, politically reformed, totally honest newspaper touching…
In a world consumed by streaming platforms, major television networks are willing to try anything to get you out of your Netflix, Disney+, and Dropout subscriptions and into the jaws of a…
Ass Asshole Bastard Bitch Bollocks Cock Damn Dick Fuck Hell Shit Wanker Oh shit, they really did it. They really published all those words. This is the First Amendment in action. Love,…
In the face of the sensationalist anti-mask controversy, the Arts & Culture section of the Columbia Daily Spectator has succeeded and named themselves Alt-Spec, a newer, cooler Spec. Attempting to model their…
Cut your dick off CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF CUT YOUR DICK OFF Go to church Thanksgiving Issue, November 2021…
Sorry Prezbo, but I’m Prezhoe. I’m 8,500 cubic feet of powerful sexual energy, a big Barnard Baddie. I’m an inflatable Snoopy balloon looking for my Red Baron. Show up at 5:00 am…
After many years of advocating for animal rights, PETA has apparently “given up.” The organization posted on all of their social media accounts “Go nuts,” accompanied by a graphic of a cartoon…
